Ahhhh.... nothing beats breakfast!!!!
This Post Could Kill You!!!
Now before I go any farther trying anything I talk about here would be similar to suicide. If you got even half a brain read this for entertainment only. and in this case especially... read the conclusion....
OK... even though I have been a vegetarian for 34 years I have not been a health food nut. I eat anything as long as it never had a face or a mom. I do though love experimenting with eating..... OK... I admit..., I recently just went back to eating meat but thatz another story.
One big experiment I tried awhile back was eating absolutely no sugar. One morning I just decided that was it I was quitting sugar cold turkey. I did that for at least two years and during that time the only sugar I had was what they put in bread and ketchup. I checked ingredients on everything before I ate it. It was a piece of cake... I mean carrot. After two years of this I could not think of one thing that had improved in my feeling of aliveness or health. Yet how could this be? Sugar was, after all, .... white death and more addictive than cocaine, farcebook or babbling politicians......
So... just before heading to a Mexican Beach Bonanza Buffet for two weeks I decided to go back on sugar. That way I could blend in with the crowd and do some binge eating on the trip to see if I felt any different. During the two weeks I loaded up a huge plate of sweets (if you can call them that down there) to eat first before every meal. After two weeks of that if nothing else I swore I felt better! Mind you the sun and sand could have caused that so it was not a very scientific experiment.....
Now after getting back this bothered me and got me to thinking.,.. something I rarely like to do. How could I go from zero sugar to tons again and not notice one negative thing? This is when I decided that it was time to do some online research. Well that was a few years back so not quite as much info online as now. What I did find though was tons of people raving about how the other guys diet was all wrong, wrong, wrong!!!!
Time to Create My Own Diet
After a week or two of all these opposing opinions fist fighting each other I finally snapped and decided that I was going to come up with my own diet!!! I thought this was genius as I could eat what I like to eat and let the others battle it out on the net. After all this diet bullshit was just getting too complicated.....
So after thinking about it for a bit I figured out I loved chocolate bars so they went on the top of the list. Next was coffee as at the time I was in love with it. Now even though I loved bread and ate tons of it I was starting to think maybe it was making me feel so bloated all the time. So it was off the list. Besides whenever I ate candy bars I never craved bread anyway. Next was raw carrots and lettuce etc. I love eating raw carrots and iceberg lettuce. Granny smith apples were another. Betty Crockers French Vanilla Icing was another thing on my list. Now I realized that would not cover all the color groups but I figured I could cover that with some food dye in the icing. I decided to call this my Candy Bar Diet.....
So breakfast usually consisted of one or two wonder bars, a strong black coffee and a tub of Betty Crockers French Vanilla icing. Now I would not eat the whole tub as that would have been gross. I did though dip the wonder bars into the icing before taking another bite. In just over two years give or take I ate 2700 chocolate bars and 58 tubs of the icing. How I know is because I opened up every chocolate bar with out tearing the wrapper and then saved every wrapper. I still have the boxes of wrappers here. The same with the betty crocker icing tubs... I gave them a rinse and saved all of them. Still not sure what I am going to do with them but they are an interesting story of corporate theft in themselves. That'll be another time waster for later.....
For lunch I would dive into the carrots and lettuce etc. Virtually all of it was raw. The main thing was I did not eat any bread/wheat at all. The candy bars were mostly wonder bars, caramilks, crunchies, crispy crunches, peanut butter cups and Cherry Blossoms...... The only catch with them was making sure none of them contained any wheat.
The Before and After
Now before I started this "DIE-eat" walking up the stairs to the loft was killer. My one knee would grind like it was bone on bone and hurt like hell. You could hear it grinding across the room!!! I felt like I was fifty four... Which I was. I slept like shite, 3am heart burn would launch me out of bed like a rocket. I was pushing 38 inches at the widest part of my "waste", felt sluggish, very unmotivated and mentally cloudy. Almost as if I had a real job or something.....
After one month of this "DIE-eat" I was running up the stairs to the loft and suddenly stopped. Where the hell had my knee pain gone? About the same time I realized it had been weeks since I had even the slightest heartburn!!! After about three months my widest part at the "waste" was down to 35 inches from 38 inches?!!!! I should note that I had not worked out one iota the whole time. The only thing that did really change was I had quit eating bread and wheat completely. I was sleeping like a baby and woke up feeling totally refreshed. One day while painting a studio on the seventh floor here I counted how many times I ran down to the basement and then back up again. Twelve times and it was effortless!!! Running up one floor in a building with ten foot ceilings is hard enough let alone eight and one of those having sixteen foot ceilings. Especially for someone who had virtually done no working out for at least three or four years....
Finally I Came to My Senses
Now I eventually decided that I should maybe give up this practice and do more research. I was stumped how could eating all those chocolate bars make me feel that great. Anal Vegan's and Anal Vegetarians would just cringe at hearing this story. I could actually see the hair on the back of their necks standing up. Hell even normal Vegans and Vegetarians would jaw drop in disbelief that I never died. To comfort them I often just said... "give it time"...
Just the same it did not make sense to me. Eventually though I read the book "Wheat Belly" and of course that explained it all. It was not eating all the candy bars that made me feel so good. Instead it was NOT eating the bread/wheat that made me feel so good!!! This was a huge revelation for me. Partly because I had known for years that something did not seem right about bread and wheat for me.
Of course I eventually fell back into the wheat rut and sure enough the joint pain, heart burn and mental cloudiness came back as bad as ever.......I have since tried to quit wheat numerous times. I mader 8 months once and now back on the wheat free wagon for almost a month....... if there is anything that is "white death" I would have to say wheat would make the grade better than anything. At least North American wheat.
Herez my conclusion....
You pretty well have to be an idiot with suicidal tendencies to eat that many candy bars.
The other thing is if you have any "hangover the belt" "joint stiffness", "heartburn" or "skin conditions" or a host of any other incurable medical conditions you truly owe it to yourself to try quitting wheat for at least a month or two. Stop copping out by cracking some gluten free jokes and show a little back bone in your godforsaken life for a change. Seriously the odds are incredibly high you will be very glad you did.
Now will you be able to quit BREAD for that long? ..... Highly unlikely... WHEAT for that long NOPE!!! I will tell you right now you aint gotta chance hell of quitting wheat. First off it is in everything. (for a reason) On top of that it fires off the same receptors in your brain that using heroin does. No, sad to say, you won't be quitting soon and even if you do it won't be for long.
In fact before you even try, save your self the embarrassment. Or if you still think you are tough check out this post:...... if nothing else it will show you exactly how a junkie thinks.
