The Great Pandemic Paper Panic of 2020...
by roy mackey
May 24, 2020
What the hell is up? The dark powers that be tried to plummet the world into economic collapse in a desperate attempt to get Trump out and people rush out to buy toilet paper? What's going on here??? Well if you use a lot of toilet paper you may want to read this one. Could save you a ton of money, embarrassment and poor health among other things!!!
Apparently North Americans are burning through old growth toilet paper like it was dorkeatos at a movie. What the hell gives? Well the answer is really simple North American's are being poisoned by their food makers. Some intentionally and some not.
Now don't hit the back button just quite yet.., hear me out. This isn't some zany conspiracy theory and in fact you will be able to try this life changing theory out on yourself. Oh..., and, believe me, you will want to!!! Especially if you were one of the desperate toilet paper hoarders.
This post also explains one of the reasons Americans are so fat and find it impossible to get thin again. This is also no secret as North American's on the health chart rate at 39th or so in the world. How could this be as we have all the super markets and every miraculous antioxidant type food you could get?!!! So whatz up????
First Things First..., simple math.
Lets get started with a quick question here. How many animals down here on Mother's Earth need toilet paper?... Hmmmm...., yep pretty well only one!!! Now doesn't that seem a little strange? I never thought about that before until I heard Dr. Gundry speak about it. He has a great book by the way that I highly recommend but am not affiliated with in any way. Teaches you all about gluten and lectins which we will talk about shortly. Yes only humans need toilet paper and some of them need a ton. So what the hell is up with that? Well it basically boils down to the food we are eating. If you need lots of "swipe" then you are eating the wrong foods. Change the foods you eat and your need for swipe will plummet to the point you could get by with nothing..., just like a lot of the more smarter animals here on earth do!!!
I think it was around the early eighties, give or take ten years, that we started getting brainwashed by the feds that we should be eating tons of grains. They figured if they could feed the heard with cheap grains they would not have to worry about running of "real" foods for themselves. Round about exactly then diabetes and other diseases like being overweight started to go through the roof. Doesn't that also seem a little strange to you? If you think the government is out for your betterment then you obviously missed the class on logic back in high school. Anyone who steals ten, pays back two and borrows trillions in your name has far different motives. If you buy their story you probably think two thin aluminum airplanes going twice the speed they are capable of at sea level brought down the solid cement and steel trade towers perfectly. I will give you a dollar for every legitimate scientist who will back you on that today.
The grains scam was similar to the second we started using sunscreen is about the exact same time that skin cancer started to go through the roof. The charts for these will scare everyone but the stupid. This is not coincidence either. Now if you did fail simple math in school then this type of logic will be really hard for you to comprehend.
So here is the thing. If you eat a lot of foods you shouldn't then you will end up needing a ton more toilet paper. If you barely need any toilet paper then your diet is likely somewhat ok. So if toilet paper consumption is high for you then you really need to finish reading this!!!!
How I got here....
I am always trying weird eating things in my constant search for more energy. To me energy is life and life is fun. I find it a ton of fun trying weird things and then assessing the results. Which is mostly not much but sometimes I discover some very surprising stuff like my nine ingredient bullet coffee. I found it life changing! The time I ate 2800 chocolate bars and 58 tubs of Betty's Crocka Shite Icing in about a year and a half was another beauty!!! (I still have all the wrappers and empty icing tubs) There is a post on that long story here somewhere. This is one area though regarding toilet paper to me got really interesting.
Now my home science conclusions, based on what I had read and experienced, were this. When I eat gluten and high lectin foods, sugar and dairy my need for toilet paper skyrockets. The second I go off those foods my toilet paper consumption might go from four swipes down to almost no swipes and "actually if I was cheap I could save this wad for next time" type of situation!!! The change happens incredibly fast and is hard to believe! I also immediately start feeling leaner and more energised. The best part about this was there were only two things to remember. First don't eat anything that supermarkets sell. That is "feed" not "food". (I have a post coming up on feed vs food) Second is to avoid anything delicious. This pretty well makes it the simplest diet ever. No complicated calorie counting or weighing proportions etc. Thus if you can remember those two things you are set. Hey I never said it was easy. Especially if your mom trained you as a kid to link love up with getting cake.
OK... Once again here I should add that doing anything I say on this site would be somewhere up there with suicide. If you have any condition please consult with your doctor first as he has some expensive medication that will help you deal with the problem. These medications will deal with masking the symptoms and once the symptoms are gone you can rest assured that the actual problem might be also. Even though highly unlikely. Just make sure you consider the side effects. If you notice things like liver disease, kidney failure, blindness, anal leakage or death then please discontinue the medication until you can consult your doctor for some more medications to stop the side effects like kidney failure and blindness etc., etc., etc.
Anyway after a lot of experimenting back and forth I have found that high toilet paper consumption relates directly to eating the wrong food. It also explains why the first thing people thought about as we headed into another government organized dark age is toilet paper. You see if you are presently using six or eight swipes then three or four will definitely not do!!! You could not go to work at your cramped sweaty office on just four swipes. Thus you panic and race out for toilet paper. But to your surprise you were not the only one with this problem. To me this crazy rush for toilet paper was not crazy at all. In fact it made total sense to me and proved that there are a lot of people out there needing a shitload more toilet paper than they should. Thus the real cause of the great Pandemic Paper Panic of 2020 was people eating the wrong foods. If you google this you will find there are a lot of terrified people out there thinking they are dying because they need five to ten swipes to clean themselves. Well not the case.
So here is what I recommend. Check out Dr. Gundry online. Ok I admit Ole Doc Gundry kind of grates on me a bit (people smarter than me often do) but just the same he has some really good stuff to say. If you need to use a ton of paper then I would definitely experiment with ditching wheat first off. Then learn about lectins and try ditching them. I notice I can go from four swipes down to barely needing one swipe all in about 24 hours or less. This turns out to be a huge savings. First you save the toilet paper and second you save a shiteload of money not buying poisonous crap from Safewaste and No Thrills.
Now if you need a lot of toilet paper what have you got to lose? Over the years I have had a ton of weird health things change for the better once I changed out my diet in areas. One area that really shocked me was my knee. When I went up the stairs to the loft you could hear my knee grinding bone on bone across the room. It was gross and hurt like hell but made sense I used to be a serious runner doing five 3 mile runs and one 7.5 mile run every week. Likely just wore it out. Or "blew out my knee" as most, turned lazy, ex runners often say.
Around that time I decided I needed to try going on a no wheat diet for a bit. Not because of the knee but because I was looking for more energy. This was back in the pre gluten free era. One month later I was running up to the loft and suddenly stopped to ask "what the hell happened to my grinding knee????" Now I could have went to the doctor (something I haven't done now for around 26 years) and booked in one of those handy dandy knee replacements but turned out this was a lot less painful, cheaper and easier.
Five or so years after that we had problems with our elevator here at the building I manage quitting. Every one or two days I would have to run up to the roof, seven floors with high ceilings to reset the machine. I started to make a game of it and got it down to 39 seconds!!! (try that sometime if you don't think it is hard. Especially being over 60)
So you see incredible things can happen when you change your diet which is a lot cheaper than running off to one of big pharma's drug dealers for some symtamatic relief. Which I might add puts you at high risk of everything from blindness to kidney failure based on the possible side effects.
Sum Summary
Anyway stop thinking that you are dying. Ditch a few foods for awhile and see what happens. If nothing else this will prove to you that, no..., you are not dying you are just getting slowly poisoned for fun and profit by "Big Farma" If your paper consumption drastically drops welcome then sweet!!! This could get you hooked on the Dr. Google Game. At least until the net starts censoring natural health stuff that is not approved by big pharma-diction. If you can read then you will quickly find that you can pretty well cure most things from hang nails to Diabetes and cancer with enough persistence. Now because North America is no longer a free society it is quickly getting harder to do this but for now you still have a bit of freedom left. Hugely less than you believe but still.
The trick is with using Dr.Google is you don't just jump onto any idiots bandwagon or theory. The natural path is slowly getting as bad as the regular medical system. Sure none to extremely little die using the natural path. Which is unlike America's number four killer..., reactions to prescription medications. (often called "died of complications")
Just the same even though the natural path can rarely kill you it can fleece you out of your money. So the trick is to make sure you verify what you learn first. You can do this by seeing if you can find others having success with it. Of course when I say others I don't mean others involved the company or product you are looking into. Verify it first through other sites and reviews etc. Also if something does not work don't give up like a crybaby. You have to be persistent. Just keep looking. Eventually you will stumble onto something that could very well change your life. It happens all the time. You just have to park your skepticism and not give up after the first shot.
In the meantime once you find out what foods you are reacting to you will finally be able to get away on little to no toilet paper!!!! That is incredible and believe me there are a lot of trees out there wishing you the best of luck!!!